Building a Stronger Bond: Five Key Essential Insights for a Successful Relationship
Love doesn’t pay the bills…or ensure that it will be there in your darkest times.
I know because my love for my wife wasn’t enough for me to be there when she needed me the most. We have worked through these tough times…and continue to work through.
Relationships, in my experience, reveal to you the deepest darkest parts of you that you may have hidden even from yourself.
Here are 5 things I have learned as I worked my journey over the past few years along with the honour of witnessing others go through theirs:
1️⃣ Respect trumps love and communication: A human being will have difficulty thriving in an environment of neglect, slight, or vilification. Looking for ways to build up your partner, appreciating them, and learning about their depth without judgement deepens the relationship.
2️⃣ Shared interest in personal growth is crucial: Successful relationships demand each partner to take responsibility and accountability for their lives, their self-image, and their core beliefs. The other person is not there to fix you. Nor to complete you. Own your personal development and keep bringing that “better” self to the relationship.
3️⃣ Having difficult conversation is a must: When things are left unsaid, contempt, judgement, and disappointment manifests. As we own more of who we are, we can step in confidently to state our needs and feelings without blame. This takes practice but is a key to a long term health of a relationship.
4️⃣ Unspoken expectations lead to disaster: If you think your partner can read your mind and feel your feelings, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Asking for what you need and accepting that your partner may not be able to fulfil those needs for you is a sign of emotional maturity. Many of us are not even aware that we have certain expectations of the other person. Regular practice of reflection can bring us closer to that awareness.
5️⃣ Face problems as a team: Life will bring its set of challenges. It’s hard enough trying to face those problems so don’t make each other the problem. Many of us unknowingly add to the burden of life by working against each other towards a solution. Practice getting on the same team, supporting each other through the tough times, and celebrating life together.
These 5 guidelines have helped me strengthen my bond and are the foundations of the conversation I have with my clients.
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